What to do when a bird gets stuck in your house

silence is
29 August 2008, 6:41 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , ,

I have been a quiet bird, with four drafts and not a single post.  This is

my best friend’s mom dies

I have had a self-anniversary, R says I am the age all women want to be, now

work is causing me to be a bird at home

head cold

Not necessarily in that order, but the house is full now, and we’re all clanging around, displaying our griefs and pluming our feathers.  I have wanted, so much, to be quiet this week, and R magically knew that and got lost in the city tonight.  I do not love him as I should; I wish a heart more capable, less judgemental.

Someone is mowing the lawn as I read Stephanie Meyer and I keep trying to assauge Lola’s grief in my mind; her birthday card rests next to me as I type and I want to lay a cool hand to her forehead, to wish her sleep and peace and a panacea to all these tears.  I cannot, I can only throw rage at the poor lawn maintenance man, continue on the wine despite the sore throat and fever, to type into an unknowing ether and hope that the one person searching me out can be better than I am.

My love is not enough now; I hope my silence is.


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