What to do when a bird gets stuck in your house


rattle your keys
21 August 2008, 1:08 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , ,

Sometimes I am such an asshole.

I get home and I am a mean, catty bird. I wish you weren’t here, that I could move quietly through the house, settle into its lack of response to my presence. I am tired of the world responding to my presence. I want to pull three walls close and echo my breath off them.

I know this will happen. I walk home, 45 minutes of steps, and I unravel the future before I get there. I see it from 100 feet in the air, erase the roof and look down on this mess of a being. I know it and I do it anyway.

I’m not sure why we do this; why we have to fold our angsts into new shapes and hurl them at people we love. I think I think of you as so much of myself, and so when I am tired of being myself, I am tired of being with you. It’s shitty; it’s hard not to do. I’m sorry, my love.

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